On today's walk I was thinking about a lot of things...one being my long lost blog. My favorite place seems to have been overtaken with campers so my pathway was in a slightly different location but as therapeutic as ever.
Starting out my thoughts were "wow, this chapter in my life is pretty crazy!!" Now I know I have been in crazy times before and I began to wonder if this particular time in my life seems crazier because my parents are no longer here to share their wisdom and their prayers with me. On a positive note, my siblings have quickly stepped into that role for which I am so thankful.
For quite some time I kept thinking that the lessons God was working on me were lessons in "patience" and "being still" during this time of waiting as He continued working on me. The last few days have been a much different lesson ... lessons that were so painful that I wasn't sure I could handle....lessons that I couldn't even name initially, blinded by my own flesh.
Then suddenly, clear as day, it shone through. GRACE ... pure and simple, Grace. Oh how many times has Jesus offered me that same grace. Instead of letting little things that I can't control (yeah, that lesson is coming up momentarily) I needed to release those things and simply offer Grace to those who have (most likely unintentionally) hurt me.
Partway through my walk today the next lesson struck me hard ... CONTROL. I had no idea that part of my struggle is because I probably felt the need to control the situation. God oftentimes uses music to speak to me and that song (with the same name) popped into my head and I nearly stopped in my tracks (lol, I may have actually stopped but you know I was tracking my time). In that very moment I released the one thing I was holding onto. I seriously thought I had surrendered EVERYTHING to Him but I was apparently holding onto the one thing I thought I could control (not very effectively I might add). How freeing ... how much pressure that takes off. He knows all those little concerns I have regarding the situation ... He knows what the outcome will be ... He knows how the entire situation and each stressful moment effects me ... He is more than capable to take control and just let me rest in Him.
It IS a struggle at times, even knowing how much better it is to let Him take control. During those times I am so thankful for my friends and family who surround me with love, prayers, scripture and cheer me on along the way. Bring on the Ooblek and Splatter Painting ... haha, as I walked I was thinking about these fun ways to relieve stress and even questioned the comparison between feeling "messy" inside to the "messy" therapeutic ways of dealing with stress.
Control
Until next time ... release those things you're holding onto and let God have complete control
